Stress in the moment

14 January 2015

It's another sleepless night. Full of thoughts in my mind.
So i guess it's better to express some of my feeling here, if possible.
I wish i'm good at expressing myself, but i'm not. I can't even say it out sometimes.
I might looks quiet, but deep inside. I have so much to say, so much to know.

These days, i've been really stressed. Yes, i mean really really stressed. 
Mainly is because of my online boutique business and blogging. These two is my main income. Yes, I don't have a 9-5 job, that's why people always think that i'm FREE (nothing to do). Basically, i'm not very "FREE", it's just my working hours is flexible. In fact, i didn't even get to rest. I scarify most of my time for my career. There's no break/holiday for me. I have to always be prepared to do my job. When i have extra time, i will just lying on bed and keep my mind blank.(IF only i can). Trust me, it's not easy to mange both in the same time. That's the reason why i'm so stressed out…maybe i'm just not good in managing/my expectation is too HIGH. 

Seriously, handling everything by my own is NOT EASY.
For online boutique. I'm the only one who running it. Multi-task everything by my own. I'm my own purchaser, accountant, model, customers service, marketing, photographer of my own shop. Hahaha, It's really tiring sometimes, i wish i can have someone to help me out. I really wanna expand my business to be bigger, but one person's ability is very limited. Somehow, i need someone. 

If you know me in person, then you would probably know that i'm a perfectionist.
No worries, i'm not that kind of person who want to be perfect in EVERYTHING. Only some particular stuff that i'm concern about. I won't settle for anything less. In life, I always wanted to achieve better. To be independent. I want my own business to be stable, solid and stable income while i'm still young. I wish i can and i'm still working for it. *stress stress stress*

For my blog, I'm getting lesser and lesser of inspiration to blog.
You know what, It's easy to start blogging but it's hard to maintain a blog. It requires a lot of efforts and  heart. Blogging is not easy for me because i can't always TYPE things out. i need inspiration to blog.  *my mind stuck* I really should READ MORE BOOKS!!! I used to be very passionate in blogging…during the time i blogged about fitness. But now…..i didn't even go to the gym sometimes. Just ON & OFF season the whole 2014. *slap me please*…I want myself back, i want myself back T_______T

There is a time i got lost in my life. No directions at all. I've no idea which way should i go.
I wish i could have someone to guide me and motivate me. But then i know i shouldn't always wait for that 'someone' to push me forward. I'm not a baby girl anymore. I should learn how to carry myself and push myself forward without any help. *tough* Independent is the KEY, it's time to make full use of the time of 2015. I always said that i will appreciate my time but then i realized i didn't really make full use of it most of the time. Stop being SLOW & LAZY. Kick the BAD HABIT off Karen.

I guess it's just me talking to myself. Hahaha.

Sorry for the mess. I'm just stressed out.

Full of "NOT GOOD ENOUGH" feeling…

Motivation needed.

By the Negative Karen xx


  1. I feel the same way too with my blog. It's not easy to blog when nothing comes to mind. In my opinion, not just reading books will help in blogging, watching movies can help to inspire as well! I find that movies often have a hidden message in their stories, and that's what inspire me. Hope it helps. Have a nice day!

    1. Yes i do watched a lot of movie too. I love getting inspires.
      But only input is not enough, output is important too.
      Practice makes perfect perhaps, hahaha

      U too! Have a nice day :)

  2. Dear Karen, same as me too! last time I used to have my own online boutique but then I decided to delete the page and now I left few ready stocks with me.. I wanted to sell it off but then dunno who to find and dunno who can help me to buy those clothes.. anyway, as you said you need someone, I want to help you but then I am in Penang and we can discuss in whatsapp or e-mail if you want :) anyway, don't be so stress ya ^^

    1. Yes, sometimes all we need is just a good listener.
      Thank you for your encouragement, I'm a lot more better now :))

  3. It's good that you wrote it out may help you feel slightly better. For your online business, you may look for someone have same interested and reliable to assist you, 2 is better than 1. haha.. for your blog, you're the one who always inspired us. mb can be 1 of the motivation. If you have time, try to read book, it's really help! Take things easy, fighting! ;)

    1. Yes, express it out is always better.
      Maybe now is not the right timing. I believe that i will found my way soon.
      Awww, thank you for motivating me back! hehehe.

      Yes yes, i will. Thanks again!
      Let's work hard & smart tgt <3

  4. Works Hard for better future. Like you always said " we're not from a family that have good background, we need to build ourself up, not counting others. You're a great, I'm your secret admire. *Kenangan Terindah*

    1. Surprisingly someone rmb what i've said before
      Thanks for reminding me what i suppose to rmb.
      I will work hard :)

      Thank you so much!

  5. In fact u r doing great. U dream big at the young age. it's not easy for an individual to start up a career especially at thr young age with less experience. Perhaps finding a business partner might help? Being on and off is normal in fitness. U just need a great partner to keep urself on all time. But u still looks great with ur result. Keep posting on ur fitness...self motivation begins from motivating others. Looking forward for that..Cheers

    1. Thank you! But i'm not good enough, there's always room for improvement.
      Trying hard to achieve everything when i young & free. Haha. I do believe when the time is right, i will find my way. Now it's time to prepare myself to be in the 'GOOD' condition.

      Awww thank you for motivating me.
      I will work hard :D

    2. No one is perfect but we can be better. Do post more about ur workout progress. Share some knowledges about training and diet to us. Looking forward. And hope ur injury recover soon...

    3. Ok sure, wish i could settle all my works down & go back to gym
      Awww, how much i miss blogging about fitness.

    4. May I know what u currently busy with? I think u can blog about that. Please get ur works done and get back to gym A.S.A.P..hehe..Good Luck!!

    5. Hahaha, perhaps that's an good idea too.


  6. I might not knw how stressed you're cause I'm not in your situation. Everything will be alright eventually. Believe yourself can do it. 我们不是神更不能分身,有些事尽力了就好。 加油!

  7. don't be afraid and to despressed with your situation. Everyone have any problem and big trouble that we never know. Even that you know each other.
    how much that painful, keep it up.
    i don't know who you are, and what's your problem.
    but i felt by looking your sadness pict.

    someone told you that U dreamed big at the young age. that's right
    but do not ever try to be anyone that you figured, just being your self :)
    you'll find the way by urself